Dear Inang

Self-Esteem

Date Published: April 16, 2020

Dear Inang Reyna,

 

Hello po! First, I just wanna say na thank you po so much for bringing if not all, most of our KPop idols and making us feel closer to them kahit isang gabi lang.

 

When I first heard na may ganito kayo, I was a bit hesitant kasi I don't know if this will really concern you but I think it's better to try and express my thoughts than hide and suppress it lang.

 

I am a 19-year-old guy and I became a fan of Kpop last 2014. Back in 2010, sinasabihan ko pa 'yung mga kaklase ko na ang baduy o ang jeje ng KPop pero here I am, makakain din pala ng Hallyu wave.

 

I started liking EXO because of their cool concept and of course, their songs and choreography. Kasagsagan nung 2014 'yung pagkaalis ni Kris and Luhan sa EXO so feeling ko tuloy may balat ako sa pwet for stanning them then biglang ganun. Eventually, nag-branch out na rin to other Kpop groups na sobrang hands down din sa galing.

 

My real concern is that of course, when you are a Kpop fan, you would somehow want to look like your Kpop idol/s. Hindi naman mala-Kai na naka crop top para kitang-kita ang abs. Pero medyo nagpahaba ako ng buhok and dyed it. I wore somehow flashier or longer clothes than normal and put on some accessories, a dab of foundation, and eyeliner. Overall, I know I looked different pero I liked it.

 

Yet, my friends and family said otherwise. "Anong klaseng damit 'yan?" "Mukha kang tanga!" "Bakla ka ba?" Those are their comments about my style almost every time na makikita nila ako.

 

Nung una, akala ko sarcastic lang sila and after a while, hahayaan na nila ako. Mahirap naman talaga kasanayan ang K-fashion kaya hinayaan ko na lang din sila. Pero habang nagtagal, parang naging kutya na nila sa'kin 'yun and it started to really affect me and my self-confidence.

 

I asked myself a lot of times pero what's wrong with dressing up like this? Mas feel ko lang na mas na-eexpress ko ang sarili ko with how I look and I get to support my idols in my own way. Regardless of gender, I believe we can choose what we can wear and how we can present ourselves in the society.

 

Pero kahit ganyan ang paniniwala ko, wala pa rin. I still get to be teased about it and it did a toll on me. To the point na minsan ayaw ko nang lumabas and even hated Kpop for a while. I tried to change my style pero parang hindi na ako.

 

I think I just want to share my story para ma-lessen 'yung sama ng loob ko and probably humingi ng advice on how to go on with my life? Thanks for hearing me out and God bless po to you and your family! More power din po sa PULP team sa walang sawang paghihirap para matupad ang aming dreams makita ang idols namin.

 

Thank you very much.

 

Cyrus

 

Dear Cyrus,

 

Dressing up like your idols is not wrong or even uncommon.

 

This is in fact an unbroken tradition that has guided fans for generations from even before the time of our parents.

 

Fashion itself has always been dictated by trends and we can see this throughout modern music history.

 

In the 60s men grew their hair exceptionally long and wore bell-bottom jeans...

 

The following disco era presented all sorts of outrageous clothing trends as well as an infinite amount of glitter...

 

Ensuing eras had their own special fashion statements: Heavy Metal with leather, studs, and denim. And Glam Metal saw many men where makeup and super tight skinny jeans or spandex!

 

But another constant throughout all this fandom throughout generations expressed in so many ways, showing solidarity and appreciation for music of so many kinds, is the constant criticism from people that were not fans of particular modern music genres. Often older generations would criticise and berate the younger generations... and the cycle continues.

 

So do not be discouraged. You are not doing anything different from the generations that came before you, and became too old and saddled with the mundanity of life to let go and have a little fun.

 

Chin up! as long as you feel good, you look good :)

Keber what others say. ;)

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